While I have done an enormous amount of healing work, had oodles of therapy, and grown in leaps and bounds through the aftermath of trauma, I realised over a year ago that anger and adrenalin were still fuelling me, and that it was not sustainable. The anger I let go of in late 2021 and the adrenalin finally stopped pumping so furiously in late November 2022. The day my youngest son finished his landscape architecture degree I came to a grinding halt. I felt like I had been hit by not one, but eleven sledgehammers.
I had learnt to use adrenalin as a pick me up to keep me going, but no more. December to February were really hard as my entire being tried to remember how to operate on normal levels of this miracle substance. My endocrine system and my hormones went completely out of whack.
I am currently on a medically supervised liver detox to reset every system in my body after five years of adrenal overdrive. It’s been quite hectic but also incredibly calming and empowering. Amazingly, I feel my body clock resetting itself too and I find myself getting to the end of the day and my body just screams, “Stop!”. I have been so used to over-riding this sense with a boost of adrenalin. Do you think this may be happening to you too? I now feel less wired, more calm and peaceful. It is a really good feeling.
But, I also know what extended adrenal overdrive feels like.
From the moment we were attacked in our home in 2017 I could hear the roaring of adrenalin in my ears to the extent that I never heard the shot that killed my husband. Adrenalin increases your heart rate, elevates your blood pressure and boosts energy supplies to help you deal with a threatening situation.
That roaring lasted for nearly 18 months, so strong was the adrenal response within me. Even after the noise died down my adrenals continued at a rate of knots. My body and my being didn’t know how to survive without adrenalin. It is an incredible drug that can take away exhaustion and even physical and emotional pain.
Yes, I have been dealing with alot, as many of you have too, and balancing many balls in the air. So, we just keep going. Fortunately, I have been held and supported by many loved ones and healthcare professionals both alternative and medical. I count myself extremely lucky.
If you are busy, you must be okay. Right? Wrong, actually. Busyness can: