Gender-based Violence: Lie-Hide-Repress-Deny

Nikki Bush discusses gender-based violence with Ingrid Lotze, who believes the world won’t change until we stop the lie-hide-repress-deny cycle that both victims and bystanders are trapped in. She draws on hard-learned lessons from being married to an abusive alcoholic; her work as a volunteer in women’s empowerment; as well as her 25 years of business ownership. Ingrid is a two-time TEDx Speaker & TEDx panellist, a Diversity Equality & Inclusion advocate and gender equality champion. She co-founded and runs three businesses including Hers&His, a diversity and inclusion consultancy. For more information visit Hers & His

This conversation covers:

The conspiracy of silence
How victims support the cycle
How bystanders support the cycle
Cycle of violence from generation to generation
The problem with “not my business, not my problem”
Ingrid’s 3-step solution
Cultivating community and connection
How to speak up early and often
Eliciting support and building allies – what to put in play and in place
GBV awareness in the business environment – how to create a safe space
Rethinking norms that are hard-wired
The importance of curiosity to create shift
How lie, hide, repress and deny plays out in gender-based violence, racism, diversity and inclusion

“Just take one step.”

Ingrid Lotze, Hers&His, Diversity and Inclusion Consultancy

“To the victim of gender-based violence, take a step sideways towards someone who can help you. To the witnesses, take a step up and speak up. To the perpetrator, take a step down and seek help. And to those who have not been touched by gender-based violence, take a step towards learning more so that you can be an ally.”

Ingrid Lotze, Hers&His, Diversity and Inclusion Consultancy

“Victims have a role to play as they also lie, hide, repress and deny.”

Ingrid Lotze, Hers&His, Diversity and Inclusion Consultancy

“Is there psychological safety in an environment?”

Ingrid Lotze, Hers&His, Diversity and Inclusion Consultancy

“We need to build the skills to speak up early and often.”

Ingrid Lotze, Hers&His, Diversity and Inclusion Consultancy

“Cultivating connections requires that you can communicate with one another clearly, and in the right way, at the right time.”

Ingrid Lotze, Hers&His, Diversity and Inclusion Consultancy

“Teaching the victims, the perpetrator and the witnesses, how to speak up, when to speak up, and where to speak up.”

Ingrid Lotze, Hers&His, Diversity and Inclusion Consultancy