If you stand out, you will be criticised

If you are brave enough to stand out will be criticised. It comes with the territory. The alternative is to do nothing and be nothing, which ambitious, or goal-oriented people find hard to do.

• I play it safe to avoid being criticised or shot down
• I am prepared to take a stand, even if criticism comes my way

I think that some people (a minority), are born with a kind of chutzpah that allows them to shrug off criticism easily. That was not me. I had to learn how to do so over many years, and the learning continues.

I came from another country, I was shy, I was small for my age, I was always a year younger than my peers, I could never play in the same sports teams as my friends. In high school I was not Miss Popular, I was an observer, a deep thinker, I held strongly to my values and was not easily swayed. As you can imagine this worked both for, and, against me.

A defining moment that shifted my perception of criticism and feedback happened at the age of 16 when I was job shadowing in an advertising agency. They used to bring everyone in the organisation together to brainstorm ideas for campaigns, no matter how senior or junior they were. As a schoolgirl, I was included too, and my ideas mattered. I learnt that even a so-so idea may be the spark for the best idea in the room which is why everyone’s contribution was welcome and nobody was put down.

• Criticism can actually be a sign of success because you are making an impact, taking risks and pushing boundaries or conventions
• People are likely to criticise you before they praise you — part of the human condition for survival is to spot difference first
• If you stand out, you will be criticised
• Not everyone needs to like what you say, what you post, or what you have to offer
• Not everyone is your customer (if you are in business) and polarising people is a way of sorting out the wheat out from the chaff so that you only focus on those who qualify to be your customer/client
• If someone doesn’t like your fee, your approach, or would like you to shift your values to accommodate them, maybe they are not for you!
• Those who stand out, or stand for something, will always attract both criticism and praise. You will not be liked by everybody all of the time.
• If you are prepared to put yourself out there you will make mistakes sometimes
• If you raise a hand with an idea, some of them will be good, some will be crazy, and some will suck
• Sometimes you will get constructive feedback and sometimes you might be shot down
• Think about how you give other people feedback so that it is received as constructive criticism that they might find useful rather than putting them down

Remember that people are always quicker to find fault than to praise, so don’t take everything quite so personally. Maybe what you said just triggered something sensitive in them at the time. Then there are bullies who make it a habit to put people down, often doing so to make themselves feel better now that they have made someone feel worse. Those happy within themselves often don’t point out the faults in others.

Here is a thought-provoking, poignant video that showcases this topic so well and gives some good advice:

• Try and notice the good in others
• When you are criticised, remember the good in you
• If you stand out, you will be criticised
• Dream big, get out there

Many teams are not cohesive and need some neutral help to get them on the same page, pulling in the same direction, so that they can deliver. I get teams out of their heads, breaking down walls between people, so that they can really see each other from a different point of view. Call me to discuss how I can help you and your team,

Be brave enough to put yourself out there.

Human Potential Expert