Self-retrieval - the act of moving towards wholeness

Healing is a process. It’s a natural movement towards wholeness. It’s about gathering your scattered, shattered pieces.

This process of self-retrieval is very different from self-improvement. It’s about the journey and connection between head and heart.

This applies whether you are healing from a big or small change, a big or small trauma. However it comes into your life, by choice, chance or crisis, change or trauma dislodges parts of you to a greater or lesser degree.

In his latest book, The Myth of Normal, renowned healer and author, Dr Gabor Maté says, “When we heal, we are engaged in recovering our lost parts of self, not trying to change or ‘better’ them….We do not heal in order to be cured, even if that understandable wish is present. Healing is best seen as an end in itself.” He adds these two important points:

Growth and change is, more often than not, sparked by a setback, loss, illness, anguish or alienation
Life has funny a way of delivering the requisite suffering

Suffering is universal

“Suffering is universal, victimhood is optional.” I love this line from Auschwitz survivor, psychotherapist and author, Dr Edith Eger. Do yourself a favour and check her out on Youtube. This wise 90-something year old has plenty of wisdom to share.

We will all experience our fair share of suffering, it’s part of being human, but, you can either choose to become a victim of the situation or be broken open in order to grow.

Some insights to take on board:

You need to identify your suffering; name it to tame it, before you can begin to work with it and through it, to get beyond it
The pain of staying stuck needs to be greater than the pain and challenge of stepping onto the healing journey
You must have a sense that something better lies on the far side of the pain you are currently experiencing
You may uncover some unexpected treasures and demons along the way
Expect that some of your beliefs about the world and yourself may be challenged on the healing journey – you may need to get off your point of view
Healing takes work and commitment

Self-retrieval – the act of moving towards wholeness

Back to the point of self-retrieval: all change is an invitation to dance with the many different facets of who you are.

Change can be:

The catalyst for growth and healing
The impetus identify your inner wounds or emotional pain
An opportunity to gather those lost parts you may have forgotten or that have become hidden in the midst of the every day chaos of life

Self-retrieval is the is the act of moving towards wholeness. But, first, you have to acknowledge the wounds and invite their wisdom in to your life. Then, you can start to work through the lessons they bring so that, ultimately, you can answer these two questions: