Transformation and shattering often go hand in hand. When you renovate you break things down in order to re-invent. It’s a messy business, I know. When a child plays with Lego, in order to build something new with the same blocks, they have to destroy what they have already created.
When you transform yourself you have let go of the past to re-define who you are now. Growth lies at the intersection of endings and new beginnings.
Shattering is sometimes essential. It is terrifying, fascinating and exhilarating at the same time. This is the human paradox.
Evolve or revolve?
“You must evolve or you will just revolve,” says Edith Eger, Auschwitz survivor, psychotherapist and author of The Choice (Rider, 2017).
This wisdom applies to us, just as much in our personal capacity, as it does in an era of massive disruption in the world of work.
How are you transforming your organisation and the way you do things against the backdrop of artificial intelligence, technology, new ways of service delivery and yet the strong need for the human interface that really cares?
Transformation and shattering go hand in hand. When you let go of old thinking that no longer serves you, show up authentically, or give up old habits and create new ones, you can move forward.
You can choose to either transform and evolve, or reform and revolve.
Surrendering to things being another way
Transformation isn’t easy but it is how we evolve. It requires surrendering, even in a time of great difficulty, to things being another way. This doesn’t mean being broken by circumstances but, rather, allowing ourselves to be broken open.
We can reinvent, rediscover or rebirth ourselves from the scattered, shattered pieces of a difficult time.
“Our lives ask us to die and be reborn every time we confront change. Change within ourselves and change in our world,” says the author of Broken Open, (Rider, 2004), Elizabeth Lesser.
“When we descend all the way down to the bottom of a loss and dwell patiently with an open heart, in the darkness and pain, we can bring back up with us the sweetness of life and the exhilaration of inner growth. Where there is nothing left to lose, we find the true self, the self that is whole, the self that is enough, the self that no longer looks to others for definition or completion, or anything, but companionship on the journey.
The messy miracle of life
Transformation and shattering is about being willing to engage in ‘the whole messy miracle of life’ says Lesser. Don’t you just love the way she writes? It’s so accurate.
Think of how a baby breaks things down and tears things up before they move into a constructive phase. They have to go through this phase in order to understand how things work and who they are in the world.
In the same way, evolving and engaging in real growth isn’t a perfect process, it’s not totally in your control, and it can be downright messy.
A few things I have learnt on my journey of shattering and transformation:
- Real life and growth don’t happen in a straight line
- You need to brave dark places in order to discover the light, to evolve and grow
- You have to engage in the messy miracle of life; you have to do it not just read about it
- Growth is often scary and uncomfortable because you have never been ‘here’ before
- You often have to break down to build or birth something completely new
- Change can make you feel incompetent for a while and that’s okay, you will find your feet
- You will often find the answers in the stillness and the shadows
- You must lie on the floor for long enough to learn the lessons before getting up again
- As you reinvent you can feel like you are in no-man’s land and it can be a lonely place
- Some parts of transformation and shattering have to be done alone in order for you to really ‘get it’ and to own it
- Nobody can do your human homework for you
Growth and transformation often require shattering. Don’t fear it. Embrace it.
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